Damn it!

It's ok that I like wine in a tumbler,

and orange juice in stem ware.

And it's ok that Mia finishes my Oatmeal every morning.

And it's ok that I felt like freeking out today.

That I felt like crying cause I felt like I was broken again.

That I felt like the horrible void within was back and here to stay awhile.

Folding in and over itself like the folding of a pot of fudge, as it boils and turns, and rolls over and over within.

But I got home, and the coven leader of the Garden Witches had left me a message.

Wanting to know if the garden had become a burden for me.

(it had)

If I needed a break.

(I do.)

If I would just come once a month. Cause the garden needs my energy. (I love that she said that.)

And we talked, and laughed enjoyed even the silence of the pauses in our conversation, and soon that void just wasn't their anymore.

No longer weighing heavy on the diaphram of my breath.

And then I log-on and Dolly is there to giggle with me about the powdering of big noses ;)

And I'm ok.

And yes it IS ok that I almost freeked out today.

And NO i'm not falling apart as I feared.

And no, I'm NOT broken. I'm NOT. I know how to handle this.

I do.

I can.

I will.