Madrigle

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A series or rants.
Saturday, February the 9th, 2002 @ 1:01 p.m.

So, it's spring in Houston, and I know what that means.

Yep, the first ringworms popped up in my classroom last week.

Damp warm days *plus* a room full of second graders *equals* teacher with ringworm.

Uhg!

It's happened the last couple of years.

The first year, the Doc didn't know what the hell it was.

I ended up rubbing vaginal cream on my chin 3 times a day. All it ended up doing was making a dry, flaky mess of my goatee.

A couple of months later, I finally got into a dermatologist who prescribed an oral anti fungal. In days it was gone.

Last year it happened too.

This year I'm taking preventative measures.

I've added extra virgin olive oil to my body oil mix, and a drop of essential oil of lemongrass. Olive oil is known for it's anti fungal properties, and lemongrass is a homeopathic remedy to ringworm.

I fucking hate this part of the hot humid south.

*****

Just got back from the temple of cheese. High priestess Virginia explained that she feared the wrath of Stilton, as supplicants of the rival Gorgonzola cult had been spotted in the city. So I tasted Stilton at the altar for the second week in a row. Still Devine. I confessed that I had incorporated the wonderful cheese into most of my meals this week, she looked upon me with kind eyes upon hearing this.

*****

My hairstylist, Luigi the masseuse, called me fat and balding last week. I felt like Jeanine Garafolo, in that scene from the truth about cats and dogs when the cosmetic lady convinces her to buy all this makeup.

I walked out of there with some snake oil guaranteed to thicken my hair, wondering WHY I had let him make me feel like I need it. Thing is I think this snake oil may be working. At any rate it smells nice.

He also tried to convince me to join weight watchers.

Bastard.

I don't think he understood me when I told him I HAVE lost weight! And AM eating right!

Bastard.

AND fucker, I've been turning heads left and right lately. UHG!!!!!

*****

I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things.

The camera seems to be missing.

I'm hoping the gremlins decide to return it soon.

I just hope it doesn't have shots of gremlin porn on it when it gets returned.

*****

hugs.

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