If Habibi were my child, M would be his little friend I don't particularly approve of him playing with. My inward attitude towards M has been one of fear and lack of trust. Fear that he views my partner as potentially more then a great friend, and not being able to trust M to not at some point act on those feelings.

I have no reason whatsoever to be feeling this way. Not one shred of evidence, not one side long glance at my Habibi that has lingered even a fraction of a second to long. Yes, my feelings toward him are based souly on a gut feeling. A gut feeling I've ignored in the past, usually to my detriment.

For the first time ever, I'm prepared to think that perhaps this feeling has been wrong. I'm not ready to completely disavow it, but the possibility that my little theory has no legs to stand on has entered my mind. Last night about midnight this realization was first realized. you see, M and his boyfriend just broke up, last night, and being best friends, Habibi was there to be a good friend, even though he had promised me we were going out. (He called to explain the situation and I encouraged him to go comfort his friend. Even though at that moment my fears were probably at their most extreme. I began to panic, I grabbed Mia and her leash and promptly headed out the door for a brisk walk knowing that only raising my heart rate and releasing some endorphins might curb the panic attack I was fearing might soon be visiting. I also promptly called Corazon on the cell, as I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts that were playing foos ball inside my scull.

So, after the walk and C's advice I felt MUCH better, but knowing myself like I do, I went to Blockbuster to rent movies in preparation of a long night, a long night that didn't come as Habibi called not 5 minutes after C and I hung up. He met me at the Blockbuster and I could see in his eyes the honest, innocent concern for his friend. I could see that what I was fearing was in face not happening. We went home, and talked about M, and his heartbreak. He mentioned that M was very concerned that he was breaking a promise to me to go out, and that he wanted to call himself and talk to me, but Habibi told him, I have a big heart, that I wanted him to go comfort his friend. For some reason M's concern for me, and the possible rifts he could be causing in our relationship, smoothed my ruffled feathers. I'm not saying it made all my booboos all better, but I don't know, the sincerity in Habibi's tone as we were talking, it went a long way to quell my fears.