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This was supposed to be about aspargus soup.
Sunday, Mar. 12, 2006 @ 3:08 p.m.

Habibi called yesterday. His message started off slow and halting. He was telling me how much he missed me, that he adores me with all his heart.

I listened then hit delete. I can lie and say it doesn't bother me, but the tear leaking down my cheak, even now, would give my fained indiferance away.

When I'm alone, doing those things people without a partner do for self gratification who is it I think of?

Habibi.

I'll call him back later. The conversation will be all lovely peaches and cream. We will laugh, and inquire after each others families. There will be a pause right before we hang up, then we will exchange our very sincere I love you's and we won't talk again for a couple of weeks a month or so. I don't think I even think of him every day any more. I'm also fairly certain that is a complete and total fabrication. I didn't mean to sit down and write about Habibi. Somehow it just happened. This was going to be a recipe for a rustic cream of asparagus soup recipe I just concocted. I was reading zuzu, and somehow it just put my mind on Habibi, and his call yesterday.

***

Roy is so cute. He reached over and took hold of my hand at the movie theatre last night. I can't tell you how many dates I've been on where I sat there wanting so desperately for the other guy to take hold of my hand. There is something so exciting about that. Me doing the taking hold of, that just won't do.

This week I've been revisiting Poe in the cd player. I think Poe is so sublime. Although, like morrisey, they tend to make my mood swing to the melancholy.

Hugs.

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