Madrigle

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I don't feel I'm a freekin' spaz anylonger.
Wednesday, Jul. 12, 2006 @ 6:52 p.m.

Hmmm, I have a feeling this will not be that long of an entry. so I cleaned all freakin' day. The place looks much, MUCH better. Wasn't really horrible, but had just gotten cluttered. So it's nice to have things, mostly, back in their places. I had to rat hole some crap as the zero hour neared. I hadn't cooked or prepped a damned thing until 5:55 and Not-Green-Eyed-Man was due at 6. Yeah, I was spazzing over his emaculate loft. EMACULATE. very high end designer chic. Anyway, yeah, so the food got done, was good. He was complimentary, and yet distant. Granted his best friend had just received some horrid medical news, so his mind is/was probably legitimately somewhere else. Anyways, I don't feel so unsettled anymore, not spazzing, my chest and temples pounding. If this is going to work, it will work. He was gone by 8. "I have to get up early." text messaged me at 10ish to thank me for the 'superb' dinner. Sooooo, yeah, I don't know. It's just I enjoy his company so much. And I enjoy that my heart feels alive once again, capable of loving. His kind, intelligent, and seemingly gentle nature and yet stil 100% man, his robust good looks, he's such a dreamy, dreamy package.

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