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Treatis on morning snot, and how I delt with it.
Saturday, October 20, 2001 @ 10:08 a.m.

Corazon, my bodily function Queen, this one is for you. :)

I woke up this morning with the foulest smell in my breath and on my tongue.

Ewwww . . .

So, I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, and when I'm brushing my tongue I gaze into the mirror as I almost assuredly usually do. :) Supposedly looking at your tongue while you are brushing it helps to suppress the gag reflex. Seems to work.

Anyway, I'm gazing and I see what looks like a lot of white pus filled spots on the back of my throat.

I was all "Oh crap! I new this wasn't just a morning soar throat." In my head only for me to hear.

But I wasn't content with having just spotted them there in the shadows of my orifice.

No, so I rinse, spit, and run to find my mini mag-lite which ended up having dead batteries.

Yeah, I'm prepared for an emergency.

[This from the guy who used his bottled water stockpile to brew coffee with for the last 2 weeks.]

[Incidently, just so you know, it was from a hurricane kit!; NOT an end of the world kit.]

Oh yeah, so I get some new batteries into the flashlight, I guess I'm more prepared then I knew, and head back to the bathroom, lights off, to take a gander at them yonder spots on my throat.

Achhh!!!

What I thought were spots were actually knots and cords of coagulated mucous [yep, snot!] that must have settled there during the night.

I reach for a q-tip wanting to immediately begin poking and prodding at it. [Just cause that is how I am, a poker and prodder and squeezer.] Trying to free it's super glue like hold on the delicate tissues there behind my uvula.

No go.

Won't budge.

The brain lashes out for solution number 2.

Write this down.

It's a great home remedy for nasty mucous filled throats.

Into a glass that isn't to small, nor to big poor a good inch of apple cider vinegar.

[Distilled vinegar lacks the something in it, that makes this work so make sure it is the brown stuff]

Top off the glass with water at the hottest temperature that you can stand.

Gargle repeatedly until glass is finished.

May not taste nice but it sure does loosen the crud.

So, yeah I'm gargling and periodically looking back there.

Pleased to see chunks of the coagulated knots and cords of mucous that had previously cemented themselves to my throat, no longer there.

But, by the end of my rather largish and somewhat unpleasant glass of vinegar gargle, there was one stubborn cable of twisted snot still there.

It was time for Johnson and Johnson to make one last attempt.

Finally my little q-tip friend removed what had to have been the biggest clotted and partially dehydrated loogy I have ever seen and deposited it into the sink basin with the rest of the flotsam.

Ahhh.... After a nice baking soda brushing and minty fresh listerine rinse, me and my throat are feeling and smelling ALL better.

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