I awoke angry this morning.

My subconscious must not have been able to hold all this in any longer. My dreams often present solutions to problems that do not allow the problems of my day to reside hidden in my subconscious any longer. In fact I find comfort in my dreams forcing a resolution to what may have otherwise been allowed to slide by. Often time at the detriment of myself.

I reminded Mrs. Fluff that my six weeks as after school club teacher were up. She made light of it, and basically said I was stuck with it. I was polite and firm, and restated that my Six weeks are up and that you have known since the beginning that this was only a favor, she still made light and basically rolled right over me. And ignored the issue as if I too was going to ignore it.

She is SO sadly wrong.

The memo is typed.

My resignation from teaching after School clubs is signed sealed and delivered, and if it does not get results a carbon copy to my administrator is but one button push away from delivered.

I'm feeling empowered!

I'm feeling like I have found a voice.

A voice that has always been there, but has little been utilized.

This is my "NO!" voice.

I'm saying �NO!' more and more and DAMN! It feels good . . .

And my reputation is getting bitchier and bitchier I'm sure, but I little care.

Frankly, it is not "MY" problem if my saying "NO!" causes "YOUR" plans to flounder.

They are after all "YOUR" plans and not "MINE."

Step up to the plate and "YOU" do it.

It is after all "YOUR" brain child not mine. Stop making plans that you cannot accomplish without the use of others. Rely on yourself.

I've filled those shoes from 3:30 to 5:00 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the last 2 years, and really I have other plans for that time now.

And no your pleas of but everyone else has families, or is going to school, or , or , or, add infinitum� hold NO sway over me any longer.

That is your's and their problem not mine, and don't try to convince me any longer that I also somehow have ownership in this.

It is not on my plate! And nothing you say � no loyalties you try to invoke� can convince me otherwise.

I'm single and childless by choice, just as there marriage and families are by choice.

They can make arrangements just as I have had to make arrangements.

It is little your concern that my plans for that extra time include painting, and designing, and yes even going back to school. Hell they even include grading papers, and designing better lessons, something you seem to have lost site of as the main focus of a teacher.

Those reasons are EVERY bit as valid as theirs, and frankly I don't give a Tinker's Damn that you don't agree.

It is someone else's turn to have to plan around, and rearrange schedules for after school clubs, to say no to friends dinner requests, to have to love and hug and spoil there dog even more when they get home for having had to leave them kenneled for those extra 3 hours that an1 � of teaching adds to my day by the time I get through the rush hour that I would have missed had I been able to leave earlier.

And to be honest, 20 dollars an hour is an insult to my profession and my pride. I know of NO other profession where overtime is not rewarded with time and half pay. Just another abuse to irk my sensibilities.

I weeded out the "users" from my circle of friends LONG ago. I had become aware of the need for that sensibility by the age of 19, a sensibility that I see people three times my age have NOT figured out yet. Don't blame me for being ahead of the game on my interpersonal development.

To allow you sappers of energy and disregarders of agreements to infiltrate yourselves back into my life would serve as little --HELL-- NO! Use to me whatsoever.

So don't try your coercions and manipulations that you veil as requests from a good friend on me any longer.. All you will find is my foot heading towards your posterior in one last goodbye.

Find some one else to use your manipulations on.

Oh, and don't let the door hit you in the ASS! on the way out of my proximity either.

I'm sorry to say that your Abacus that instantly pops into the front part of my brain whenever you slide into my field of vision, sadly has VERY few beads left to be slid over. Already I find both of you becoming a member of that group that I offer only my civility.