Madrigle

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Sorry-Ass Cry, and Self Portrait.
Thursday, Dec. 20, 2001 @ 10:23 p.m.

I'm feeling more then a little distraught.

Fact is I'm liable to break down into a state of pathetic sobbing at any moment.

I'm talking a REEEEEAL sorry-ass cry here.

Thing is I'm a project driven person. I love it. I love creating, making, discovering.

Currently my project is mainly about clarinet playing, but this isn't about that.

This summer my project was my family tree.

I spent hours upon hours, days upon days, sifting through the digital worlds abundant information sources, and managed to piece back a very respectable family tree. One line even ended up going back some 49 generations to around the year 500.

I know!

Yes, it is amazing.

Thing is my computer crashed in late August.

I thought to myself at the time. No problem, I have my files backed on zip disk.

So, all was well and good in my mind, until tonight.

Oh no, here come the first tears, falling like glittering diamonds from my unblinking eyes splattering into shards on the front of my chest.

I go to open the file on my zip disk earlier this evening. I get a error message telling me the file is corrupted and I will need to open it using a backup copy!

FUCKING SHIT!

That was my damned FUCKING backup copy you piece of shit computer..

UHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!

What's worse is allllllll of my research notes are on that file. All my sources, every little lead I had, every little lead I had yet to check out! I don't want to spend weeks and weeks and weeks redoing this project. WHY WHY WHY didn't I Print a hard copy. [Cause I was trying to spare a couple of fucking trees, that's why. It was like a 120 page document! OIH!!!!

Yep it was the whole kit and kaboodle.

I have one last hope that techical support will be able to help me from 9-5 eastern standard time Monday-Wednesday and 9-3:30 Thursday and Friday.

PLEASE GOD LET THEM BE ABLE TO HELP ME!

[our Fahers already pouring fourth from my lips]

I found a reference in the help read me file to not being able to open files from disk, unless the program has first moved them to your hard drive. Ok that is just weird ass. But I'm hoping it is just the fact that I had to reload the program, that it is not recognizing this file. It's a long shot but I can still hope.

P.S. on a brighter note. A current side project includes messing around with digital imaging.

Here's a self portrait inspired by Kuinileti's new fabulous layout.

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WE ALL FALL DOWN

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