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Opening doors, and breathing on my own.
Sunday, March the 24th, 2002 @ 7:39 a.m.

I've been low.

Very low.

Job stress from central office administrators, and the everyday stresses of teaching had just taken a toll.

Let me fast forward, before I get back to the juicy part, I feel great now, I feel as though a thousand different doors have opened up to me. *in reality there are just two*

So, by Tuesday of this week I had pretty much convinced myself that teaching is not for me. I may be really good at it, which is what I've been told, and respected by my colleagues, but quiet frankly I have a developed a loathing for the profession. Mainly because the MOON is expected of us, but in reality we will just achieve earth orbit, and as soon as our lunar rover is about to depart our shuttle bay, we will get a message that the moon has been done, from central office, and now our target is Mars.

Yes, central office changes there plans for us all, teachers and students, only slightly less often then a hummingbird flits from flower to flower.

As far as science curriculum is involved, this really is not an exaggeration. (Science Curriculum is something I am very heavily involved it)

So, as I've said, by Tuesday, only the second day back after a week long vacation, I had decided that Teaching was no longer for me, like affective immediately.

My long term plan of entering the jewelry design world, as a way out is going to be have to be accelerated by what ever means possible.

Did I mention I prayed? Yep, I"m a prayerful, meditative, individual. I'm convinced, that as a result, these two possibilities, my present saviors of my sanity, have entered into my life.

I'll now elaborate on how these opportunities have overlapped into my reality, understand that my long-term goal is still to become this centuries Faberge. *hey why not aim for the highest*

It's Friday morning, 4:30 and I awake to The Cures, Friday I'm in love. I adore that song, it always takes me back to dances at the LDS church, Me and Candi Dosela spinning and dancing, doing the 'airplane' just being one with each others giggles. To let you understand HOW low I've been, I go to sleep frowning, and awake frowning. So, the respite that this song offered to my soul was whole heartedly welcomed, it even got me to breathe for a few moments.

Pause, to talk to mom and dad in my excitement over the possibilities.

Back, and really that is what has made me feel so much better. The possibilities. I was feeling SO trapped. Like I have this degree and I have this job, and I'm so stuck with it, till I can retire at 51 *according to my financialist* and I'm just going to have to keep my unhappy, bitter, nose to the grindstone till I can see my way out of it, at the age of 51. My initial plan has been to go into jewelry design, and that is still my ultimate plan, it's jut that now my means to finance this plan have changed in HUGE ways. *LOVE THAT*

Possibility number 1: I am receiving training this summer in ATLANTA for one glorious all expense paid week, to become a facilitator for _________ classroom. This is a huge company, I just had the first bit of my training this Friday and Saturday, and I've never seen a more compelling or effective educational system EVER! These people have got a groove going in science education, and the brilliance is that it is the kids asking the questions, and the teacher is merely the facilitator. I could go on and on and on, but I wont suffice it to say, that it is highly likely that I will end up being a __________ employee by the end of next year. So, that is plan number 1, and I would be out of the classroom well ahead of my five to seven year current plan. This company is great, and the employees love there job, and I've already been asked to start thinking about coming to work for them eventually. "They said I had the eager attitude that they like to see in there partners." I could so see myself doing this, and it would offer travel, and the Houston market is going to open up in a big way soon for this company, so It would offer the possibility to stay home also.

Opportunity number 2 comes knock, knock, knocking at my door. So there I am in a sprightly mood, even though my brain has not started fully functioning yet, as a result of NOT having yet ingested my 2 � cups of coffee. In a sprightly mood 'cause __________ classroom has me all in a tizzy at the prospect of, by the end of next year, not being my own jailer, locked in the prison of the teaching profession. I was gladly heading towards my Saturday training. *Did you hear that? "Gladly" I said. You KNOW this stuff was good if me, of all people, was willingly, even happily going to a Saturday training. If you've been reading long you KNOW my weekends are sacred.* I had been sleeping in a bit, and as a result didn't have time to brew my 2 � cups of coffee. *Yes, Corazon, maybe you did break me just a bit, but I'm healing quickly. :)* Not having time to make my own coffee would prove a blessing, proving for the second time this week that my prayers had been listened too. I pulled into the Starbucks drive through, having only enough time before my class to hurriedly do so. Lee, as I would soon find out was her name, very cheerfully took my order for a Venti Coffee Late, I pulled around following the rear end of Jaguar x-type. I love those cars, when I got to the window, I was all chit chatty, and she's all, "are you off to work?"

"Yeah, I'm a teacher."

"Oh yeah? I teach first grade. How about you?"

"Cool, second grade. I have a training to go to today." I replied, sensing that there was more to come.

"You know I'm not going to go back to teaching next year. Starbucks really knows how to treat there employees right."

"Really? That good?"

"Yeah." She goes on. "There benefits are awesome, and almost covered 100% by the company. I could walk out and get plastic surgery today, and it would be completely covered."

"That's amazing, sounds a lot better then our teacher policies."

"Totally." She winks at me and goes on, "and they offer domestic partner benefits."

I reach out and shake her hand, "I'm James, I want to come work with you."

I think I even shocked my self.

"My name is Lee, James . . ." she pauses " we are hiring ALL the time, please come in and talk with me."

I said silent prayers of thanks on my way to work, I also ran a red light, as the coffee had not yet kicked in.

******

Doors.

They are opening everywhere!!!!

I don't feel trapped.

I'm breathing!

I woke up breathing!

I'm still breathing!

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