I've got the 3 month jitters. When people ask I tell them we've been dating for 4 months, just so I don't have to hear myself say three months. I've had more relationships go, phsssst! into thin air at the 3 month mark then at any other time. When the exact day of our 3 months came and went I breathed a sigh of relief. It's a cursed time I tell you. So we're nearly half way through this 3rd month and I don't know I just since a distance and we haven't really had some us time since the first, and well it's just seeming really weird to me. Sunday was nice but it was like 90 minutes together, and well it just seems like I've been waiting a lot lately and like other things, and other people are coming before me more and more, and well this just adds up to me being a very scared guy, and just now he couldn't seem to get off the phone fast enough, and company showed up so he was not able to come over, and I don't know, fear is what I'm feeling fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear and usually when I get like this there are good reasons for the fear, and I don't want there to be a good reason, and I so want this to be me only making mountains of mole hills and nothing more, and I want this fear in my chest to shut the fuck up, and I want to stop cleaning as an avoidance tactic for dealing with my emotions, and I want to stop fucking typing this babble. I want there to be no reason for me to be fucking typing this babble. I want this to all come out smelling of roses. I want this to end up being me being all hormonal.

Thursday morning: Yep it was me and hormones. All is well, all is well.