So, their IS paint on a panel. Not much, but it's there, what I can do is there. It's drying and I'll do some eroding before it fully sets and then it's a night.

The panel I'm working on, I had propped it up to cover my front door, the only place to get it out of the way while I was doing some more prep on it's twin. When I touched it, I gently let myself fall into it, my forehead resting on it's cool surface, pressed there ever so gently, and I began to sob. I sobbed at the magnitude, I sobbed because I am finally confronting my experience. I sobbed because I should have done this long ago. But here I am, and I'm doing it. I prayed to God to give me the strength and the ability to paint these paintings. My tears staining it's surface, me not wiping them away. Holy water, from a holy experience. Then painting.