I can't express to you what I'm feeling right now. My stomach is flip flopping, knowing that those I love are in danger. I can't stop crying. I finally got through to Habibi. Him and his family are NOT evacuating. I'm so pissed at them. My other friends, I don't know I can't get through on the phone lines. I can't stop crying. I love them all soooo much, I just want to know that they are as safe as possible. I'm so glad I got to hear Habibi's voice this morning. We told each other how much we love each other. We always do. We just talked. We talked about what is going on there, and how the cell phone system isn't working. I made him promise me he would call me at his earliest opportunity when this is all over. I still have a vast amount of love for Habibi in my heart, I feel this intense need to protect him right now and the frustration of not being able to do a damn fucking thing, other then tell him I love him right now, is driving me fucking insane. I'm such a fucking cry baby. I've got snot bubbles dripping from my nose I'm crying so hard. Thing is if I was there, I'd be so calm, calculated, and preparing, evacuating, organizing. It's the those I love in trouble that make me a wreck. (oh lord, heres' the movie metaphor.) It's kind of like Sydney on Alias, her only weakness is her compassion for others. Ok, so it's not my ONLY weakness, but still. A wreck over here, and guilt. Guilt I'm here in no natural disaster New Mexico.