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Mr. Smith
Saturday, Nov. 12, 2005 @ 11:11 a.m.

The first time I felt I had any artistic talent at all (even though as a Kindergartner I won a McDonald's coloring contest ;) as a 6th grader a best of show for the elementary division, as a 7th grader a piece was sent and selected to be displayed at the governor's palace in Santa Fe along with other young artists from around the state) even with all that, the first time I felt like I had any merit at all was when Mr. Smith, my freshmen silver smithing instructor, pulled me aside with my designs for a pendant, an abstraction of a mother and child motif and took me to the AP art instructor in our highschool to show her what I had done. It was the middle of class and he actually dragged me down the hall, leaving the rest of his students, to introduce me to Ms. Witt and have me explain to her what I had created. From that moment on, I believed that I had some talent. My rendering skills have never been as good as I would like, as good as my peers, and because I couldn't draw with striking accuracy I felt I had no talent. I'm glad Mr. Smith dragged me down the hall to Ms. Witt. I needed that boost. I'm writing about this cause lately I've heard that doubting voice in my head again. "Why do you expect YOUR art to be of any merit?" "Why do you think YOU have any chance at all?" It's marketing you know. The art world it's talent, but it's also marketing. It all seems so huge and overwhelming at times. The paintings are piling up. Slowly. but they are. I look at other artists and see there incredibly complex pieces that wrap the viewers in an environment and I'm absolutely blown away, inspired, and then ultimately left doubting. You know what though, I have merit. I have to keep up this momentum. I've propped panel 1 against the wall, these last layers are having trouble clarifying. I might have to give it a week before I continue on it, but for all intensive purposes, I believe it to be complete. Panel 2 has been lifted from the wall and is on my work table ready to have paint thrown at it.

As I mentioned earlier, Corazon and I met at the Taj for lunch, Bothhandz was there also, as well as a online friend, a friend of Bothhandz and a couple of Corazon's work buds. It was a good time and good food, not as good as the previous times I have been though. I needed a couple of gallons of high solid medium and polymer medium and the stores here only sell it in pints and quarts if your lucky so I decided to make the, rather enjoyable, trek up to Santa Fe. My online friend decided to go with me. I ended up being rather glad about that, really. At first I was eager to go alone and get my supplies then explore what I wanted to explore. Well, I got my supplies, and then my online friend asked if we could go to Trader Joe's. Now, I've poopooed trader joe's in the past. I thought there was no way under the sun that it would be anything but disappointing compared to central market back in Houston. I was so wrong. It's small, yes, but WOW talk about bargains to be had. I love that place, and the online friend earned big points for taking me there. I'm kicking myself for not getting a few of the INCREDIBLE $7.99 potted orchids they had, even lady's slippers. Lovely. So, I�ve had a vision in my mind about a cutting edge way to use my beloved acrylics. I wish I had 8 hours a day to devote to this. Even 5. Must go get somemore piano wire.

Niece and Nephew are coming. I sooooooooo love that they like to come spend the night but all I want to do is paint and create, I wish they liked to paint and create too, then we could all just spend time creating. I moved back to be closer to family. I'll not be selfish and I'll give up some of my precious alone time to be with them.

Love to you.

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