Joel, just called to wish me a happy VD day. sweet, that is.

I didn't wake up intending to call and wish Habibi a happy valentines day, but I did on the way home from work. My fingers were pressing the buttons on the cell phone before I hardly even knew what they were up too. I got his voicemail. I just tried again, same results. That bugs. I remember how he used to screen calls, and how I was the call he always took. Things change. I don't know why I'm lamenting this . . . and here I am writing this and Habibi calls. Suddenly all is right in my world. Ok, well better then it was. I remember full well the tumultuous roller coaster of jealousy and passion I felt for Habibi and don't want to be back in that existence, but, well, phuqit it's self destructive to play this game of what ifs.

Love to you.

As an aside, I've slept with men purely because of their conversational skills. No attraction there at all, save for the way they craft their words and build upon what has been shared and said. So, I find it such a let down to meet men that I AM very attracted to, who don't possess the gift of carrying a stimulating conversation. In fact, they often seem only capable of single word, RARELY multi-syllabic utterances. I probably fall in the latter category myself lately. I'd like to think I'd be able to once again carry such conversations if I came into the presence of another who brings it out of me.