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church, cookin' for Curtis, and sardonic, don't you think?
Wednesday, Jul. 24, 2002 @ 5:38 p.m.

I got a kick out of dilectizing my entry. The following is in American Redneck, although since I have several redneck relatives, I would like to comment that this sounds more hillbillyish to me. Not that I'd know. :) Gotta love it.

http://rinkworks.com/dialect/

ah's unner strick o'ders t'go t'church tonight.

Mary Beth says, "Yer t'git, up an' dest yer lazy as a houn'dog ass off an' meet me thar NOW! Fry mah hide!" ah so love her fo' it.

Really ah enjoy it a great deal, ah reckon. Especially th' fack thet th' church is a great trimenjus pyramid, cuss it all t' tarnation. :) Thar is supposed t'be some guess speaker o' sumpin, an' evidently he packs th' place.

Ennyway.

This hyar all involves me tearin' mahse'f away fum mah book an' acshully dressin'. Atleast ah already showered, cuss it all t' tarnation.

An' af'erwo'ds, we yo'ng'uns hoof it to Brazil's t'lissen t'uber right fine tribal moosic.

It's a yummah fabulous time.

ah's tryin' t'convince Curtis t'come, but he's a bit, um, fine, down ah guess.

His truck keeps gwine into th' shop ev'ry month, an' it happened agin today. Thet so sucks.

ah cleaned menny drawers yessuhterday, an' cleaned th' oven today an' swepp an' reareenged an' pruned an' watered th' patio till ah had rivahs of unevapo'ated sweat runnin' off of mah nose an' poolin' into mah glasses. But dadburn it looks purdy out thar now. ah dumped an' scratched in a'fa'fa pellets into all th' pots an' flower beds an' soon they sh'd be nearly leapin' out at me. ah pow'ful sh'd vaccum up th' dry cleanin' carpet stuff ah dumped all on over a couple of days ago befo'e ah go t'church.

Yep, ah's sooooooooo lazy as a houn'dog like thet.

So, I've noticed a pattern, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah cook fo' Curtis, he gits pow'ful frisky an' seems t'reckon it's his solemn duty t'pleasure me an' pleasure me fine af'er we haf ett up-- ah's reckonin' ah's a-gonna be cookin' a LOT mo'e offen then mah no'mal Sunday fare. ah mean,'dn't yo'?

***

Mal, looked at mah banners an' said, "Don't yo' wo'ry yo' might be leadin' varmints t'believe yer female o' th' opposite sex wif them?"

ah replied, "Not at all, it was intenshunal, ah reckon. Kind of a sardonic bit of hoomour."

Ok, ah didn't use th' wo'd sardonic wif her, but ah's now in th' retellyng, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! hahahahaha.

Love t'yo'.

***************

I'm under strict orders to go to church tonight.

Monica says, "You are to get, up and dust your lazy ass off and meet me there NOW!" I so love her for it.

Really I enjoy it a great deal. Especially the fact that the church is a great big pyramid. :) There is supposed to be some guest speaker or something, and evidently he packs the place.

Anyway.

This all envolves me tearing myself away from my book and actually dressing. Atleast I already showered.

And afterwords, we young'uns go to Brazil's to listen to uber cool tribal music.

It's a yummy fabulous time.

I'm trying to convince Curtis to come, but he's a bit, um, well, down I guess.

His truck keeps going into the shop every month, and it happened again today. That so sucks.

I cleaned many drawers yesterday, and cleaned the oven today and swept and rearanged and pruned and watered the patio till I had rivers of unevaporated sweat running off of my nose and pooling into my glasses. But damn it looks pretty out there now. I dumped and scratched in alfalfa pellets into all the pots and flower beds and soon they should be nearly leaping out at me. I really should vaccum up the dry cleaning carpet stuff I dumped all over a couple of days ago before I go to church.

Yep, I'm sooooooooo lazy like that.

So, I've noticed a pattern. I cook for Curtis, he gets really frisky and seems to think it's his solemn duty to pleasure me and pleasure me well after we have eaten-- I'm thinking I'm going to be cooking a LOT more often then my normal Sunday fare. I mean, wouldn't you?

***

Mal, looked at my banners and said, "Don't you worry you might be leading people to believe your female with those?"

I replied, "Not at all, it was intentional. Kind of a sardonic bit of humour."

Ok, I didn't use the word sardonic with her, but I am now in the retelling. hahahahaha.

Love to you.

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