So, Not-Green-Eyed-Man text messages me last wednesday, "sorry I've not gotten back to you, they shipped me out to D.C. sooner then I expected and I won't be back till mid September. We will have to plan to see each other when I get back."

That text is the sum total of our communication since the last time I wrote about us going to dinner. Right now I'm thinking a man that doesn't even have time to text message, hell call, REALLY doesn't have time to be dating. I'm usually so good at weeding these sort of folk out of my life. I like to surround myself with quality. Evidently I lack this ability with people i'm interested in/dating though. I miss him, I do. He's this ember of hope. His hope is, or rather the hope he nurtures in me, is this feeling of WANTING to be with another, to form a relationship, to be so much and mean so much to each other, he is that ember of all those things that I thought had died out in those dark 18 months post Habibi. I so will be mr. patiente with him. I just have this feeling that once he has dusted all the crap off of himself from his breakup months ago things will really blossom. I'm not holding my breathe though.

I have found more datable material though. Had a lovely date with Mathew on Wednesday evening. He's fun, and handsome in a bearish way. I was totally at ease with him. We had sandwiches and beer at kelley's then walked the hill, we met a ufologist/insurance broker who talked our ears off about his mother's art(it was stunning) and the ufo's he thinks it represents. Mathew lives in Santa Fe though, an hour away. But he's here almost everyweek. We will see.

I was supposed to have a date with another guy tomorrow, but he hasn't called. We were to rollerblade on the nature path and go for lunch. Hmm. Oh well.

Went clothes shopping yesterday. Got some great deals. Gotta love clearance racks. 6 t-shirts, 2 pairs of shorts and a pair of cute khaki pants for $58. It seems I only buy clothes when I'm dating. Otherwise I make do.

Pray for me now, PRAY VERY HARD FOR ME. My boss is moving me up to the middle school level. LORD HELP ME! I like teaching the lit'uns. Who knows maybe I will love it. I'm not licensed though, he's moving me up on a emergency waver. The bumpy ride is getting bumpier.

Hopefully I can lock myself in the studio this weekend. I have tons to get done have to cradle zuzu's and get as much done as i can on the commission. I'm so loving weekly massages again. The last one was a invigorating salt rub. My skin is still porcelain smooth. It was nice, but I crave deep tissue. Then I want to try the hot stone massage.

oy, it's that time again.

bye